


i feel safe for once

by stjimmys



Series: sp7 [5]
Category: Sugar Pine 7 RPF
Genre: ??? I GUESS, Drinking, First Kiss, M/M, Vomiting, idk really what im trying to tag here guys its 1am im exhausted but i Finished This
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-25 20:42:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14985197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stjimmys/pseuds/stjimmys
Summary: once they reached james' car and hopped in, the ride was nearly silent. steven sniffled a few times, james coughed. the radio was playing just low enough that they could both catch the subtle lyrics of cake by the ocean.





	i feel safe for once

**Author's Note:**

> oof i finished this at nearly 1am my god. anyways its set like. between after cib says hes moving in with sami jo, but before steven finds out about michael jarvis. anyways enjoy i love steven/james with my entire being. BTW this is supposed to be based off of a wrecks song, figure this out, but i kinda threw that out the window slightly. i took certain lines from it tho and made it smth that happens in the fic if that makes sense. yeah

everyone knew that james was planning on producing his own album, it was the talk of the office recently. cib joked about how james was stealing his plans, to become a teenage heartthrob singer on the west coast. "you're stealing my giggity gig, dude!" he would shout over towards james at his laptop on the couch.

james shifted slightly and flipped cib the bird, which got him a shocked look from the man himself. steven had looked over at james slightly every couple minutes, and james knew exactly why.

truth be told, james hadn't told anyone why he was really coming up with this sudden idea to start singing.

 

it started with a late night at the older office, the original pee-in-cups office. the office that saw a sandstorm, the office that had held countless jam sessions. 

steven had been finishing a round of editing before he leaned back with a sigh. james had been laying back against the couch behind steven, playing pokémon on his 3ds. he was engrossed, absolutely. steven turned his head to the side and glanced back at james, and reached back slightly. his outstretched hand tapped against james' knee and he pushed his 3ds down onto his chest. 

"what's up, man?" james asked, fixing the dad hat on his head with a free hand. "you done editing tonight?" 

steve gave a nod before leaning forward and grabbing his vape. he pushed the button down and pulled, hitting it before pulling it away from his lips and allowing the smoke to billow out his mouth. "yeah, i'm gonna forward it to autumn so she can check for any more mistakes and then we're set for friday," he stretched and began setting up the email. "you know, you didn't have to stay and wait for me. i would have been completely fine on my own. i would know. i've done this before." 

james nodded and sat up, quickly saving his games progress before closing the game and slipping the 3ds into his jacket pocket. he stood and walked over beside stevens' chair, bumping his hip against the back of it. steven shifted as the chair moved slightly. he let out a huff and james snorted. coming back, he put a hand on stevens' shoulder and squeezed. "i know you could have. but i also know how fucked up it is around here at 2am, and you would have had to wait for an uber outside anyway. i don't mind staying and waiting for you, man. it's not a problem." 

steven didn't do anything in response until he finished sending the email. hopefully, autumn would see it in the morning and everything would be good for friday afternoon. as soon as he powered down his computer, he turned his head and looked up at james. he then looked down at the hand on his shoulder and he smiled slightly. looking back up at james, he nodded. "thanks. i owe you gas money for this." 

james smirked. "yeah, you fucking do man," james pulled his hand away and walked over to his desk, checking if his computer was off. it wasn't, he realized, but before he hit the power button he noticed an open file. it was an audio file, and upon further inspection, an audio file of one of his songs. he wasn't constantly working on his music, but it was important to him. he didn't remember exactly what this file was, but he didn't doubt it would be cheesy. 

"james?"

james jumped and turned, seeing steven a foot away from him. his jacket was on, best boy hat on his head. he was ready to go. james sighed and nodded. "yeah, i'll be right there-"

and that was when steven saw the file on the computer, open, and he looked to james. "wait, you didn't tell me you did your own music, man," he moved towards the computer, reaching for the unattended headphones. "let me listen."

james immediately whacked steves' hand away from the headphones. "no! it's not. it's not done yet," james immediately got red. sure, yeah. it was the most childish thing in the world, to yell in at empty office at one of his best friends. but he couldn't help it. it wasn't that he didn't trust steven to believe him, that it wasn't finished, but the idea of someone listening to the rough draft of any of james' songs made his stomach churn. everything had to be done, perfectly, without any error or outside judgement until the final product was done. then, he would let someone listen to it. and who knew when that would be. "it's not gonna be done for a while, it's alright, you'll hear it eventually." james immediately saved the file and shut his pc off. as he turned, he saw steven giving him a look that said something, but he couldn't read what exactly. it was when he spoke, however, james got the picture.

"are you going to write a song abut me, james?" steven smiled, edging closer to james and pointing at him. "are you writing a song about me? is that what that was?" 

james swallowed and looked up at steven, slightly confused. he got the picture, yes. steven probably saw james' face flush pink, assumed it was embarrassment, and then got an idea in his head that james wanted to keep the song a secret because it was about steven. "what are you talking about, man?" 

thing was, he knew exactly what steven was talking about. that file, he knew, was a song written about steven. it had been in his drafts for ages now, and he finally got the courage to work on it more than ever before. he even used his shitty audio recorder from home in his small bathroom, sang what he had and saved it onto a flash drive before bringing it into work. he didn't remember why he brought it to work, it wasn't like he was going to be able to work on it at all. 

steven got close enough to poke james in the chest as he smiled. was he drunk? he usually wasn't like this, all dopey and doe-eyed. james made a mental note never to refer to steven as doe-eyed ever again. in that moment he also decided it was time to take steven home. without a word james grabbed stevens' wrist and pulled him towards the door. 

"james, holy shit, relax. let me go. let me go," steven mumbled before getting his wrist released. he rubbed it as they stepped outside of the office. "jesus, man. you could have just said it wasn't about me not manhandle me." 

james sighed and leaned against the railing outside of their front door. "i'm sorry, i've just been working on it so hard and i don't want you to hear it until it's done," he widened his eyes, not even catching that he said 'you' instead of 'anyone', which just gave away that it was absolutely about him. shit. he fucked up again. "i'll. show it to you. when it's done, alright?"

steven had finished locking the door as james finished speaking, nodding a few times before heading towards the stairs. "that's fine, james. i just want you to share stuff with me, alright? you don't have to keep things hidden anymore." he smiled, taking each step down towards the ground level. james nodded as well, sighing before following after him.

once they reached james' car and hopped in, the ride was nearly silent. steven sniffled a few times, james coughed. the radio was playing just low enough that they could both catch the subtle lyrics of cake by the ocean.

james pulled up to the sidewalk outside stevens' apartment and put the car in park. "last stop," he glanced to steven, hand still on the center console. steven didn't move to get out. "steve? you okay man?"

steven turned and looked over at james, and gave him an exhausted look. "look, i'll be honest with you man. alyssa isn't home and ever since we moved into this new place i've been terrified to be alone. would lauren be against you staying the night or something. i'm sorry man i would have asked cib too and it wouldn't have to be this awkward but he already went home and he's got sami jo," he breathed in and out of his nose, sighing as he closed his eyes. he grabbed his vape and took a hit, pinched the bridge of his nose. "you know what it's fine, i'll be fine, have a good night-"

james only nodded, reaching over and pulling stevens' hand away from his face. he squeezed slightly. "it's not a problem dude, i swear. just lead the way." 

steven gave james a look, trying to read if james was being serious about this. would he actually spend the night? steven pulled his hand away and nodded back. "okay..." he then pushed the door open, hopped out and gave it a slam shut. he didn't mean to make it shut so loud, so as he winced he also cursed himself. he wasn't mad that james had grabbed his hand. he wasn't mad that now james was going to spend the night with him in his new apartment. steven felt weird, but also quiet thankful for his best friend.

the first thing they did as soon as they got inside was kick their shoes off at the door. next were their jackets, and lastly steven tossed his keys inside a bowl by the door. james did the same with his, which steven made a mental note of. not for any reason, of course. it just felt as it james was living here and knew exactly what to do.

there were boxes still strewn around the place; some on a plastic-covered couch, others on the kitchen table. most of their things were still packed up, his and alyssas' time spent on other things like work. the only items they had out was their collection of alcohol. there were drying glasses on the counter. steven eyed them for a moment, tapping his fingers against his kitchen table. he lifted his other hand and rubbed his chin, then pointed towards the glasses. "you wanna have a couple brews?"

james pulled off his hat and ran a hand over his hair, then looked over at steven. he took a seat on an empty armchair, shifting slightly as the plastic crumpled by his weight. "yeah, sure that's cool with me," he placed his hat against his knee, feeling the back of the armchair shift and rock slightly. he sighed and rubbed his face, resting his head back. he was tired, yeah he really was. recently with all the shit with michael jarvis making james' patience wear thin, but he knew it was only a matter of time. slipping his vape from out of his pocket, james took a quick hit before leaning his head back towards the ceiling and letting it billow out his lips. a second later, someone was tapping his foot against his own and he looked forward to see steven holding two whiskey glasses. he smiled slightly and took one of the glasses and lifted it to his nose. breathing in, he caught the very familiar scent of makers mark. james took a swig and swallowed it down hard. "was there anything you wanted to do besides get drunk, steve?" james muttered behind his glass, taking another sip. 

steven sighed as he took a seat on his coffee table, hearing it creak below him. he wasn't about to move anything off the couch this late at night. he took a small sip from his glass. his tongue was already stained with half a wine bottle that he pulled out and drank from before grabbing the whiskey. what can he say? tonight was one of those nights, and steven felt comfortable around james. safe, even. 

he looked up as james spoke, and lifted a hand up to his glasses to push them back to the bridge of his nose. "oh yeah, actually," steve took another bigger sip of his whiskey, and placed it on the table beside his hip. he then sat for a moment, looking over at the wall beside james' head. "ahh, i forgot. that's alright."

james raised an eyebrow at steven before taking another sip from his glass, and then deciding, 'fuck it,' and downing the whole thing. steven lifted his glass back up and he knocked it back as well, emptying the glass and letting it drop onto the table. looking at each other, they both nodded before both standing up and heading towards the kitchen. 

"you really wanna get fucked up tonight, steve? are you sure?" james glanced over at his boss, his best friend as he lifted two bottles of wine and a bottle of vodka and held them in his arms. he only got a nod from steve, and james took that as an alright response. instinctively, james grasped a lone bottle of jäger and tucked it under his arm before watching steven nearly rush straight into his spare bedroom. james remembered for a moment that that room had originally been for cib. not so much anymore. 

steven let himself fall back onto the mattress with the bottles clinking in his arms before sitting up and scooting backwards until his shoulders hit the wall. he let a wine bottle and the vodka bounce against the bed before taking the other wine bottle and cracking it open with a pop. without a second thought he tipped the opening directly into his mouth and took a long drink from it. 

james carefully got down onto the mattress, and made a mental note that they had both forgone turning on the lights. it was 2am, so even that type of light was out of the question. the only light was coming into the room was the hallways overhead fixture, which even then did barely anything. james crawled over before plopping down beside steven, leaving half a foot between them as he took the bottle of jäger and unscrewed the cap. lifting it to his lips, he took a small swig before letting it drop from his mouth and sputtering. he never got used to this kind of alcohol, such a strong flavor. james turned his head and saw that steven hadn't exactly stopped drinking from the wine bottle. he reached over and pulled the bottle away slightly, making a slight pop sound come from steves' lips as the seal around the glass broke. "dude, chill. we got all night."

steven swallowed and stared forward at the window, lifting a hand and rubbing his face and making his glasses tip and subsequently fall off onto the bed. "yeah, i know," he nodded, pulling the bottle closer before taking another drink. he didn't exactly know why he felt like drinking so much right now, but with how much he had already taken in he felt it in his stomach. a heat, warm and soothing. it was making him feel much more calmer than usual. he let his head rest against the wall and he sighed, closing his eyes and breathing in and out. "i know."

james nodded and watched as steven took another swig. without a thought he took the jäger and capped it, and instead reached for the other wine bottle steven had grabbed. he popped the cork and took a long drink from it, feeling himself relax into the pillows at his back. after that swig he rested his head against the wall like steven was, smiling slightly as he let the bottle settle in his lap. this was nice, actually. he didn't think getting drunk with his best friend late at night would be a good idea, but it had been stevens' idea and he also wasn't about to pass up free alcohol.

for about a half hour, they went back and forth sipping from each others wine bottles in silence. neither of them felt the need to add any words at the moment. the silence was enough for both of their state of minds.

 

steven sighed and let his head loll against the wall, turning towards james. "i remember now. what i was gonna say, out in the living room," he opened his eyes, staring at james directly. his dad hat had been removed earlier, revealing his shorter hair. "it was about you."

james noted that it had grown back from that initial shave quite well. he then realized that steven was about to start talking about him, and he didn't exactly know what to say. "about me?" he tried to laugh. it didn't work exactly. "what, you miss me wearing beanies at the office?"

steven lifted a hand and shook his head, pushing that hand against james' chest. "no no no no no no no. no no no. no no. no. not that," he breathed heavily and dipped his head low, closing his eyes. this wine was making him sleepy. or maybe nauseous, he couldn't exactly tell. "it's ab-" he began before widening his eyes and coughing for a second before vomiting up whatever alcohol he had just taken in. 

james just closed his eyes as soon as he heard stevens' voice stop cold, and he knew that whatever was warm against his chest was something disgusting. "god, dammit man," he sighed, keeping his eyes closed as he carefully lifted steves' hand away from his chest and put the wine bottles they both had in their grasp over on the floor. they had been emptied about 10 minutes ago. james immediately got to work, pushing himself up onto his knees as he peeled off his shirt and tossing it across the room. his glasses had fallen off in the process, but he didn't care. right now he had to focus on his best friend who was possibly more fucked up than he was. "steven, c'mon man, let's go," he climbed off the bed and stood, leaned down and began to lift steven up from the mattress. they both stumbled as they were now both at their feet, and carefully walked towards the door and into the hallway. "alright, c'mon, which one is the bathroom steve," he nudged him slightly, which earned james a short grunt and then a quiet 'downstairs'. james sighed before they both took themselves down the stairs, nearly stumbling into a wall before reaching the bathroom door and shoving it open. james, as gently as possible, sat steven down on the toilet seat before leaning over the tub and starting the water. waiting for the hot water to start, he let his palm run through it to test the temperature. 

steven hadn't moved, which james was both worried about but thankful for. james lifted his hand away from the water and turned on the showerhead, then immediately flicked whatever water was on his fingers at steven. "get undressed dude, you have vomit all over your shirt. and your pants. and your face. and your neck. and also my neck. and my face."

steven grumbled before he obliged, removing his flannel and t-shirt and letting out a disgusted noise as he felt whatever dampness that had stained his shirt touched his face. he looked towards the shower and saw james had moved away, and was instead faced towards the door and looking at his phone. steven looked away and removed the rest of his clothes, and stumbled into the shower and let the heat hit his forehead. then, a voice emerged from behind the shower curtain that he could have sworn he hadn't pulled.

"what were you gonna say about me, steve?" james mumbled, and steven poked his head from around the curtain to see james finishing up washing his face and neck at the sink. he gave him a sorry look that he didn't know if he could see.

"it was..." steven closed his eyes and went back behind the curtain, letting the water fall against his back in a constant rhythm. he sighed and leaned his head back, letting the water splash against his face. he gasped and hung his head, the water becoming too much. he grasped a bar of soap and wash what felt disgusting. "just gimme a second."

"alright," james said quietly, tapping away on his phone. "d'you need new clothes? i can grab them for you."

steven nodded as james spoke and then realized they couldn't physically see each other. "oh, yeah," he rubbed his face as he let the water wash the suds away. they spiraled down the drain easily. he stared down at the bar of soap and was tempted to stick it directly into his mouth, the taste of vomit and wine still on his tongue. he decided against it. "if you could, in the other room." 

there was a creak from the toilet seat and the door opened, and muted footsteps went down the carpeted hallways. a door opened, a dresser drawer or two were pulled and shut. more muted footsteps, the door opening again, and then the sound of that creaking toilet seat again. "got them out here when you're ready," james called out over the water, making steven jump slightly. he reached back and turned the water off, feeling a sudden cold sensation pierce through his body before he pulled the curtain slightly to reveal his head. james looked up. "you want me to step out or?"

steven blinked a couple times before shrugging, and carefully grabbed a towel from the rack and slipped it around his waist before stepping out. he then stepped over and looked down at james, who was back on his phone. steven blinked and reached for his clothes, pulled them on and once he had pulled on some shorts he let the towel drop from around his waist, and threw it up onto the rack to dry again. 

steve kept an eye on james the entire time, and finally he remembered what he had been trying to say the entire night. "oh!" he shouted, louder than he expected. james jumped and looked up. "james!"

"what!" james yelled back, confused out of his mind. "what is it, spit it out dude!"

steve breathed in and out before leaning over and towards james, putting both hands at his shoulders. he squeezed them both hard, and shook james once. "despite the fact that you're not a water warrior, i still feel a hell of a lot safer than i've felt in years," steven swallowed, looking into james' eyes. "i feel safe for once." 

hearing himself say it was interesting. it felt real.

james let himself smile slightly and he reached up, and carefully pulled steven down towards the floor until he was kneeling in front of him on the toilet seat. "steve, that means. a lot to me, man," he bit the inside of his cheek. "ah, fuck it." he sighed, reaching and grasping stevens' collar and pulling him closer, bringing their lips together. he felt stevens' hands tense on his shoulders for a moment before relaxing. 

carefully james pulled away, his eyes still closed as he breathed in and out his mouth. he then opened his eyes and looked down at steven, who was breathing just as hard. "i've been waiting to do that for months."

steven smiled slightly and then let out a short laugh, dropping his head to the floor. "honestly, so was i, but i thought i was going to be the one grabbing you by the shirt collar," he lifted his head back up and smiled. "come on, let's get some sleep."


End file.
